Top 10 Things you can take away from the Harry Potter series

While I was going through my usual study cycle - exhibit A:




                  



 - I began to think about Harry Potter and what you can actually learn from it withought looking at each lesson in context.

Therefore I present to you the "Top 10 things you can take away from reading the Harry Potter series" by Kelly Muller Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock:

10.  "Revenge is a dish best served cold" evidence - Severus Snape; there's nothing better than torturing the child of your former nemesis after he bullied you incessantly throughout your schooling career.

9.      When people tell you to kill someone coz they’re bad – just do it.

8.      A sycophantic attitude toward your crush will eventually pay off – see “Ginny Weasley”

7.      Getting some action in when you’re supposed to be killing the Lord of darkness and mayhem is near impossible – especially when some sparkly bastard is muscling in on your turf.

6.      Slacking off will make you more successful than any degree or diploma – see “Fred and George Weasley”

5.      Do not underestimate the pudgy kid in the back who always gets everything wrong. He will kill your humungous pet snake one day.

4.      Always get kids to do your dirty work - preferably when they're younger than 17 or so; the earlier you start the better.

3.      Pink is a colour for crazy bitches who collect plates depicting frolicking kittens and who will carve words into your skin when you use your common sense.

2.      Everything is cooler with magic – without it, all of those role-players out there are just weirdos in dresses and pointy hats running around on brooms waving sticks around.

And the number one thing you can take away from reading the Harry Potter series IIIIIISSSSS:

1.      Gingers get the girl, heroes get the ginger. Gingers breed like rabbits. i.e. forget technology – gingers will take over the world someday.

Happy Monday, gooday, 再见, totsiens, adieu, au revoir and hambani kahle.

Today This Girl dies of procrastination

...symptoms include: repetitive use of the phrase "I'll do it later/just now/tomorrow, etc.; sudden impulses to complete tasks other than the one you're currently worried about that you've been putting off; slight self-hatred and guilt.  

What a clichéd way to start a post after I've been gone for so long. I'm sorry. I should have put more effort in. After all, if I'm going to be skipping work to do a post, it might as well be a good one, right? Can't make any promises though - I've realised how useless I am in terms of consistency.

I’m not quite giving myself enough credit though. We’re about 3 weeks into a new year and term and I already feel like I’m keeping up with the workload. It just depends on your definition of ‘keeping up’. See, there are a couple; one is similar to going for a jog - you're pacing yourself and making good time. Another can be compared to all those American movies depicting a character racing frantically after a train, jumping on just before they would faceplant on the gravel. I don’t think that would work anymore though, I’ve become woefully unfit (a mere 1½ months away from my 21^st birthday). Plus those scenarios are completely ridiculous - why are those trains always so old fashioned anyway? I’m pretty sure that trains don’t have balconies on the back anymore these days… But I digress. 

I’ve been slaving over a desk in my little bat cave these past couple of weeks which mostly narrows down to me trying to stay abreast of the Chinese situation – a marginally successful endeavour.  When it comes to the social scene, however this year is BOSS.

In this case, on the weekends I join up with other people who have been working too hard and everyone just gets smashed. It’s so great. Seeing overworked schmucks getting more drunk than is wise and lunging at each other in misplaced lust (Friars – I’m talking about you, yes) is how I would imagine watching two drunken elephant-giraffe hybrids trying to hook up feels like. But we don’t judge here. Well, not to your face anyway.

To cheer everyone up, I have TWO glorious videos for you all to watch. One is Somebody I used to Know by Gotye:

The next one is the exact same song, but this group is just amaZING! Five people playing on one guitar; need I say more?

Somebody I Used to Know - Walk Off the Earth

By the way, whilst looking for the correct spelling of ‘schmuck’, I came across its definition – ‘the foreskin that is removed from the penis during a circumcision’. I’m not really quite sure how I feel about using that word anymore.