Strap on your peglegs matey, we got ourselves an epidemic on our hands! Yes, another one - and this one is nothing like anything that I've ever seen in my many years of seeing many things. If you just sit around and wait for it - it'll get you. If you try hiding in your room or some other magical wonderful place - it'll find you. If you try running away like Neve Campbell, or any other tragic herione in horror movies that ALWAYS trip on something (it's a completely seamless floor for crying out loud, how could you POSSIBLY trip?!?!?!?!?) it will, inevitibly, catch up to you. Even if you have tiger blood and are bi-winning... Anytime, anywhere - you WHILL be affected. Or infected. My brain has been addled (I know this because I am spouting things like 'addled'), so I can't remember which .
One day you will be sitting at lunch/in your room/in front of a gumball machine. A friend - a lovely, wonderful, beautiful, generous soul - who previously would not touch a fly for fear of damaging it's precious delicate wings - will come aong. This friend will then be bitten by the KILLJOY fiend. Hold your heads and duck for cover comrades, for nothing will stop this rampaging beast once it is set in motion. Try saying you want to miss a lecture/want to watch just ONE MORE EPISODE OF GLEE I SWEAR/I want a gumball, pay me now and then you look around and oh look at that there goes your head rolling down the table/desk/around and round and round and round in the gumballmachinetilyougetreallyreallyreallydizzyandithinkimightjustwanttogobuyaponyandgetoffthisrideahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Yes, I'm afraid this is a true story. Go look in Genesis. It happened to Adam too. And the Big Man in the sky. They both got bitten. All Eve wanted was to let a little loose eat a little junk food, and then the men come along and BOOM! Banishment and clothes for you! This is a major problem and I just don't understand. Men, you got us into clothes - so why do you always try to get us out of them again? I've come to a conclusion about the whole getting-kicked-out-of-Eden thing and Men? IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT! HA!!!
Anyway - killjoy bug. See now when this bug bites it turns afformentioned beautiful, generous, loving soul into ahhhiwillkillyouandeatyourfaceoffrighthereandnowmonster!!! otherwise know as The So-Called Friend. These creatures will try to persuade you to go your lectures! They will stop you from watching a whole season of your favourite show until three in the morning!! And, I'm sorry, young children will have to be removed from the premises for fear of internally-combusting just at the thought; they will try to make you go to the LIBRARY and do some WORK!!! Do not give in!!!! Procrastinate as long as possible!!! Or better yet, throw another comrade (preferably one who is even more of a slacker than you) out to the beast. It will distract it while you locate the appropriate authorities in your area, who will promptly assist you in any way posible. This is a serious matter after all.
On another note, Claire has lost her ring. It walked off in a huff about 3 hours ago and has yet to return. She was only trying to tell it that it was lookinga bit tarnished, and it said that how dare she imply that it is anything less than pure-blooded silver, and then Claire said that it was just rehashing old fights. But that just incensed it even more and basically things were said. Next thing you know they were dancing around the ring, sleeves scrunched back, showing each other what's what. Or something like that.
Please do tell if you see it anywhere.
So, onto other marvelous things, my eye has jumped ship. Apparently, it is an early onset of pirateerism and that many shocking symptoms are sure to follow. Next, the leg just FOOMP! pops off below the knee. Not to worry though, a little twig is sure to follow, and soon your wooden leg will be stable, sturdy and ready to use! I asked about the hook, and it's a No-Deal; it's copy-righted. I'm to expect a lump on my shoulder though - the feathers and beak grow in soon after that and then AWWWRKK! You got yurself a parrot thar matey! Here is a wonderfully gruesome picture of my eye for all and sundry to see!
One day you will be sitting at lunch/in your room/in front of a gumball machine. A friend - a lovely, wonderful, beautiful, generous soul - who previously would not touch a fly for fear of damaging it's precious delicate wings - will come aong. This friend will then be bitten by the KILLJOY fiend. Hold your heads and duck for cover comrades, for nothing will stop this rampaging beast once it is set in motion. Try saying you want to miss a lecture/want to watch just ONE MORE EPISODE OF GLEE I SWEAR/I want a gumball, pay me now and then you look around and oh look at that there goes your head rolling down the table/desk/around and round and round and round in the gumballmachinetilyougetreallyreallyreallydizzyandithinkimightjustwanttogobuyaponyandgetoffthisrideahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Yes, I'm afraid this is a true story. Go look in Genesis. It happened to Adam too. And the Big Man in the sky. They both got bitten. All Eve wanted was to let a little loose eat a little junk food, and then the men come along and BOOM! Banishment and clothes for you! This is a major problem and I just don't understand. Men, you got us into clothes - so why do you always try to get us out of them again? I've come to a conclusion about the whole getting-kicked-out-of-Eden thing and Men? IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT! HA!!!
Anyway - killjoy bug. See now when this bug bites it turns afformentioned beautiful, generous, loving soul into ahhhiwillkillyouandeatyourfaceoffrighthereandnowmonster!!! otherwise know as The So-Called Friend. These creatures will try to persuade you to go your lectures! They will stop you from watching a whole season of your favourite show until three in the morning!! And, I'm sorry, young children will have to be removed from the premises for fear of internally-combusting just at the thought; they will try to make you go to the LIBRARY and do some WORK!!! Do not give in!!!! Procrastinate as long as possible!!! Or better yet, throw another comrade (preferably one who is even more of a slacker than you) out to the beast. It will distract it while you locate the appropriate authorities in your area, who will promptly assist you in any way posible. This is a serious matter after all.
On another note, Claire has lost her ring. It walked off in a huff about 3 hours ago and has yet to return. She was only trying to tell it that it was lookinga bit tarnished, and it said that how dare she imply that it is anything less than pure-blooded silver, and then Claire said that it was just rehashing old fights. But that just incensed it even more and basically things were said. Next thing you know they were dancing around the ring, sleeves scrunched back, showing each other what's what. Or something like that.
Please do tell if you see it anywhere.
So, onto other marvelous things, my eye has jumped ship. Apparently, it is an early onset of pirateerism and that many shocking symptoms are sure to follow. Next, the leg just FOOMP! pops off below the knee. Not to worry though, a little twig is sure to follow, and soon your wooden leg will be stable, sturdy and ready to use! I asked about the hook, and it's a No-Deal; it's copy-righted. I'm to expect a lump on my shoulder though - the feathers and beak grow in soon after that and then AWWWRKK! You got yurself a parrot thar matey! Here is a wonderfully gruesome picture of my eye for all and sundry to see!
I asked about missing teeth too, but my doctor says that it's just a silly myth an I was so relieved. I mean the rest is alright but missing teeth? I don't think so.
At least with my pegleg I get swagger. Can't be a pirate without swagger.
