The Top 5 WORST things to say to someone with Depression

5. You know, they have pills for that now...
4. I have a friend with depression so I know exactly how you feel!
3. Stop making excuses
2. You have depression? Just try get over it/Lighten up/Get a grip/Well, everyone gets depressed at some point.
1. What do you have to be depressed about?

Just don't say it.

I try really hard to be cool. Emphasis on the 'try'

Okay, so along with the hipster influence virus (yes, I do realise that spells HIV - how naughty of me) going around these days, I'm feeling way too much pressure. Peer pressure - the social STD. All the faux *cough lenseless* ray bans, the expensive, strategically torn jeans and the too large tank tops showing off that little hint of bra. Okay, I'm sounding spiteful, that's just my jealousy talking - all I wanna do is be one of the cool kids.

I'm not fashionable though - at best I'm a copy-cat. I like to think it's because I'm too much of an Everyman. Quick aside: If you don't know to what I'm referring when I say 'Everyman', go get some culture you heathen beast. <---see peer pressure, I just gotcha!

Getting back on track though. I feel like I have to try hard to be cool. And random. It honestly doesn't come naturally - I bet you didn't know that one. Being completely random in an ironic yet funny way is really hard, and I do try, but it's just sooooo much work damnit. The self-deprecating though, now that's a big ball of fun.

See...Even in this blog post, all I've done is be random about being random to get your attention and make you like me. Dear God please like me. You know all I want is your approval. And a couple hundred Facebook likes. And money. Actually, just money - you can just give me lots of money.

I was going to go about the attention-seeking another way though. I used to daydream about being an actress. I even took Drama to Matric. Then I realised how much effort it takes to be a 'Thespian' rather than merely just an uncultured fool in tights on a stage. I got over the effort. Definitely did not get over being the centre (okay FINE, slightly off-off centre) of attention.

I also got over the admin of sticking - and excelling in - one sport or hobby. In my long illustrious life, I have participated in no less than 50. This includes (but is not restricted to) hockey, diving, gymnastics, ballet, tapdancing, kickboxing, athletics, chess (dear GOD I was bad at that) art (now THAT I kick ass at) and many many more.

These days, I just give in and realise that my talents lie elsewhere. Namely watching my flavour-of-the-week series, eat constantly student-style (i.e. lots of fat, carbs and general crap), pick up some uni work, put it down again, and finally after a long internal debate ending in a resounding "Screw it" - order Nandos.

So basically I've just wasted 10 minutes (depending on your reading speed - you should really work on that) of your life that you will NEVER get back telling you that I'm uncool, unmotivated, uncomplicated, undedicated (I just made that a word, shut up) and lazy. Whatta day for revelations. You must be so proud Mom.

Love and peace my oh-so-(sometimes)-faithful peeps.
Comment on this post or die. I've been watching horrors this month so I have new torture techniques!
Okayluvyabyeeeee!

Here's a new vid for ya!

Today This Girl dies getting Lost in Translation

What is wrong with people and communicating these days? No-one talks anymore, it's all BBM and Facebook and Twitter and mxit and emails (although Twitter's saving grace is its 140 character limit); even just the thought of talking to someone over the phone brings me out in a cold sweat. Sometimes, just to make an appointment I have to sit for 10 minutes beforehand just to figure out what I'm going to say just so I don't sound like a total dumbass. Even when people talk on Facebook, most of the time it's limited to the, 'Howdy Partner! How'd you like to be neighbours? Come and join me in Farmville where you can grow delicious fruits and vegetables on your very own farm!' notification, and apart from the disgustingly chipper tone that sounds nothing like how your friend would normally speak and awfully a lot like a cult recruiting agency, there's just something not quite right about spending 5 hours planting virtual corn to make non-existent money. And can someone please enlighten me as to what is so appealing about being buzzed every 5 seconds on BBM just so someone you hardly ever talk to can say 'Hi! <insert weird yellow smiley face with tongue sticking out>'? Blackberry's are overrated, I want my IPhone back.


Well, that concludes my rant of the day, bought to you by FMyLife... Thank you for being such a good audience. Oh wait, there's more (of me talking – not more ranting):


On another, happier note, Thursday marked the signing up of societies at my university – my intention was to join one besides the Chinese society (to which Chinese students are automatically registered) and I went there with a happy (slightly bored) heart. I'm now the proud participant of 5 societies. The sports sign-up is on Saturday, I may need to be restrained. Honestly though, some of these societies had CUPCAKES!!! I ask you, how can anyone resist a good cupcake – the one they gave me for signing up to the Anime Society even had my very own pink little 'K' smooshed onto a slightly disturbing blue iced topping – but that's just the magic of cupcakes. My friend Claire actually got a plant. No, not the plastic showy ones that people put in their offices to look 'pro-Earth-chic', an actual little plant – with weird stubby little leaves – I can't remember what it's called though, I'll have to ask later. As we've introduced a new character into this fascinating little story, I'll pause for a moment to do a little character profile... Claire came into our res a little later than the rest of us, and you know how that goes a lot of the time – people (especially girls) tend to be pack animals, once they've found their allies there's no going back and that's pretty much what happened. It was almost as if we all had the mentality that because it felt as if we'd all known each for years, Claire was suddenly 'the new girl', even me I'm a little ashamed to say. I remember the one day in the common room when we were practicing our serenades (a story for another time), looking at her as she came a kinda lost look on her face and thinking – I know how that feels – and it was really intense because I really do. That feeling of missing something completely for the simple reason that you came in at the wrong time. Even then though, I still didn't go up to her – really bad, I know, but we eventually got talking and I'm really glad we did because before that I'd been feeling a little lost myself.
Enough of the maudlin now, I have no money til next month... That's still maudlin you say? Not really, I have accommodation and food every day, and as for alcohol – well judging from last night's escapade, I don't have to worry about that for quite some time. Turns out a Zappa shot can go a long way. Ni yào kāfēi ma? Your Chinese sentence of the day and a partial study for as I have a Chinese dictation on Monday, wish me luck! As it is, life's pretty good so far, and because I'm feeling so generous, here's an extra-long Easy A quote to make up for todays somewhat boring postJ
Olive Penderghast: If he's so smart, why is your boyfriend 22 years old and still in high school?
Marianne: Because, Olive, it's His choice!
Olive Penderghast: Oh, really? His choice? He just *wants* to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time 'cause he can't pass a single test?
Marianne: No, silly,
[points up]
Marianne: His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers.